Word Vomit

01 09 09'

Written by Jeni Angel

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I have been itchy to write lately, but since my life consists of a boring job and gray cats, there isn’t much blog fodder to be had.

Really, this is only a problem for you people. You are the ones who chose to read this drivel.
A topic that is weighing heavily on me at the moment is the fact that I haven’t had a real alarm clock in months. Jake broke our alarm clock ( shocking, I know) and I haven’t been able to find one that can compare to the wonderful-ness that was my last alarm clock. See, I am VERY picky about my alarm clock. It must meet ALL requirements. And currently? The cell phone alarm clock just ain’t cuttin’ it. In case you would like to also search high and low and find the perfect alarm clock for me, please note the following:
  • Must be a dual alarm clock
  • Must not have a bright face and/or adjustable brightness on the face
  • The snooze must be longer than 5 minutes, but less than 10
  • The snooze must stop snoozing after an hour and just keep screaming until you get up
  • It must have a battery back-up component
  • No radio, iPod or CD player necessary-just loud annoying noise

As you can see, I am very high-demand. Good Luck in your search!

In other [riveting] news: this weekend Michael and I have to go shopping. At stores. I have pretty much refused to set foot in any store, other than the big freezer, since before Thanksgiving. Because the stupid people have been out. I don’t like them. However, we are now dipping into back-ups of toilet paper, tooth paste and soap and a trip to Target is in order. (As an aside, remember when Target used to mean sex? Now we say Christmas) In addition, I have to go to the dreaded mall because of the 3 bras I own, 2 are broken. And when you have big, heavy boobs, it’s not comfortable to wear an old, shitty bra.

Another reason to go to the store is that it’s Dawn’s birthday today (Happy Birthday Dawn!) and I have to get her a birthday present. As I told her, I would have worked on this sooner if a) it hadn’t been raining this past week and b) she wasn’t so difficult to shop for. I do, however, have some good ideas and I am pretty sure I will share these presents in a blog post after she’s received them because a couple of them will cause shame and humiliation. And what else could she want for her birthday?

I was reading Reader’s Digest yesterday (yes, I have the reading habits of a 60 year old) and I read this article about writing a memoir. I have always wanted to write some sort of book and I have plenty of journals and what not-not to mention some interesting things to write about. The main problem for me is-well, OK, there a couple of problems. The first, most prevalent, being that in the article, it says anyone can write one and that you should really do it for yourself (kind of like writing therapy) and possibly for your family (like kids, which I don’t have). This is a problem because if I take the fucking time to write a book, I’m going to need A LOT of people to read it. And possibly fame. And a movie deal. Which I am not sure any story I write will warrant. Which leads to the other problem: laziness. It would take the millions of readers, fame and movie deal to really get me motivated to write. Since that can’t be guaranteed, my choices are: write (for myself-bleck) or get high and watch Pineapple Express. Guess which I plan on doing tonight?

I could probably blather on some more, but the phone keeps ringing and that kind of means I should be working. Fucking job.

Random pic:

Um, best thing about this pic? Tim took it and named it “Jeni and some baby”

Category:

grays, Miscellaneous, pictures, real post

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