So, I saw today that Dooce did a Facebook “meme” (dumbest name EVER) that is about your love-ah and I decided to copy her. Because, well, it can’t get much worse, can it? And also because I love Michael and he just doesn’t get enough praise here. I mean, he lives with ME. You people can not even imagine what that is like. Bitch be crazy.

What are your middle names?
Eileen (yes, I only have one leg) and Patrick

How long have you been together?
Well, it’s been almost 5 years since we started the sex and 3 years since he got his shit together, left his wife, stopped fucking around and moved in with me.

How long did you know each other before you started dating?
I knew him at work for 7 months, but nothing happened until I left the main office and started working for Tom.

Who asked whom out?
He tried to bed me (yes, I said bed me) about a week before my last day. I held strong though. It wasn’t until a month later that we hooked up.

How old are each of you?
In real time: I’m 27 and he is about to be 46 (Don’t bother to do the math, it’s 19 years). In maturity: I’m 43 and he’s 31.

Whose siblings do you see the most?
Hmmm, We do see his brother a fair amount, but I am going to have to go with mine. I just love them more.

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
My complete lack of trust. As I mentioned in this confession post, our relationship did not start out on the up and up and because of that, I just don’t trust him. When I start to feel insecure about ANYTHING, I become a monster. He has his faults as well. But, we love each other too much to let it affect us too much. He is on the short list of people I want to CONSTANTLY be around.

Did you go to the same school?
Yeah. He was a teacher when I was in kindergarten. He has been pruning me since then. (Um, how hilarious gross would that be if it were true?!?)

Are you from the same home town?
Nope. I grew up in NM and he’s from here

Who is smarter?
Totally me. But I am, by far, lazier, so he is much more productive and actually gets projects and such done.

Who is the most sensitive?
Him. He’s such a cry baby girl. And yes, I say that to his face.

Where do you eat out most as a couple?
Well, at first I thought it was my home base, Red Robin, but I think I go there more with Heidi. It’s probably Applebees, since we like to spend the weekend wasted on their Perfect Margaritas.

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
Disney World

Who has the craziest exes?
Neither? I’ve never have an ex do anything crazy and he hasn’t, to my knowledge, either. Draw.

Who has the worst temper?
Michael? Me? Hmmm, Michael.

Who does the cooking?
Mostly me. Not because I want. Because I’m hungry and can’t eat dinner at 8 PM.

Who is the neat-freak?
Totally me. I HAVE to get up, as soon as I am done with dinner and clean the kitchen. And there can NOT be dishes on the counter (sink is OK). Drives Michael bonkers

Who is more stubborn?
Dude. I’m a Gonzales. No contest.

Who hogs the bed?
The Grays

Who wakes up earlier?
Me. But only because it’s takes a lot of work to make me look half-way decent. Ask anyone who has ever seen Vacation Jeni

Who is more jealous?
Me. I think Michael could come home to another man and me in his bed and not even blink. He has no jealousy. It’s annoying.

How long did it take to get serious?
2 years

Who eats more?
Michael. Though you couldn’t tell by looking at us. I have now had to give him a 30 minute rule. No eating for 30 minutes after dinner. Because I am POSITIVE you are not still hungry.

Who does the laundry?
I am the only one who can be trusted with my clothes. Michael carries the heavy basket.

Who’s better with the computer?
Me. Michael hardly knows what a computer is.

Who drives when you are together?
Michael. Mostly because we take his Hybrid car everywhere. Unless he’s drunk, then I drive his car. If we are both wasted . . .well, that’s why we live within walking distance to everything we could ever need.

I am sure you are THRILLED to have all of this information!