When I was a Sophomore in high school, this new boy, Nathan, came to our school. Since he was new (fresh meat) and pretty cute, all the girls had a crush on him-including me. Since I am very pushy, demanding and damn charming (when I want to be), it wasn’t long before I found out that Nathan liked me (this was, of course, through friends of friends via the note system). As soon as he liked me, all the feelings I had for him . . .vanished. The thing is, as soon as someone likes you back, some of the magic is gone. Especially when you are younger. Fickle was my middle name.
When I first moved to Seattle, before I got caught up in any of my Michael drama, I dated this guy, Shaun. Whom, I believe, I mentioned a time or two on this here blog (I would like to link to a post, but that seems like a lot of work). Shaun and I talked on the phone mostly, but then dated for about a month. He broke up with me. BY IGNORING MY CALLS. I was pretty sad. He was the first guy I dated after Rami and let’s just say it did nothing to restore my self-esteem. Enter Michael (sorry, babe. I just call ‘em like I see ‘em. love you).
In any case, he broke up with me and that was that. We got back in contact a few times here or there, but, for the most part, it was done. That was, until he was about to move to CA. Then, all of a sudden, he was all about me. Now, he knows about Michael and that we live together, but apparently, it’s not a big deal (?). He loves to IM me during the day. I am usually nice, until he starts talking about “us”, which, then, I just stop responding.
What the fuck, man? I liked him. A LOT. It sucked when he stopped talking to me. Sometimes, I wonder what life would have been like. . .dating an unmarried man my age. But, whatever-that’s not my life and that’s not what happened. Why is it that we always want people when they don’t want us? Why is that so great? Don’t get me wrong, I mean, I wanted Michael for 2 years when I couldn’t have him. I know how fucked-up that is. I just wish I could figure out WHY humans are so stupid.
Of course, if I did that, I’d be rich.
