Last year, September changed my life. Everything that happened that month is still apart of my every day. Despite everyone’s favorite saying (“You’ll see, a year from now, none of this will matter”), my life is most definitely NOT better than it was before last September.

Before last September, I had a brother. Someone whom I loved more than any other person on this earth. Someone I believed was connected to me in a way no other human beings have ever been connected. We loved each other ferociously.

This September, I have nothing but lies. I have a person who, everyday, looks less and less like a person I once knew; a person I once loved. Yesterday, I had to tell Ed that I doubted this would ever be resolved. I meant it.

Before last September, I had a job I loved. To be fair, I didn’t love it every day. To be fair, Tom and I had our issues. To be fair, the last six months had been a trial. To be fair, it wasn’t a job I planned on doing forever. To be fair, I love Tom, I love our his clients and I could have been happy for many more years. Yes, eventually, I would have had to make a move, but time was on my side.

This September, I have a job. To be fair, there are millions of Americans that don’t. I’m sure they would have plenty to say about a girl who makes good money doing something she’s good great at. I’m sure they would give anything to trade places with me. I’m sure there are people that wouldn’t mind having the life sucked out of them, slowly, day by day.

Before last September, I thought I had it all figured out.

Oh, how little I know.