Sometimes we can pinpoint the moment, the exact moment, our lives changed. Sometimes it isn’t a moment, it’s a decision. One little, seemingly innocuous, decision that changes your life forever. And sometimes you know. You know that the decision is huge and will forever change the course of your life.
When times get tough, I think people spend a lot of time thinking about the road not traveled. The life you might have had always looks easier when you have no idea what trials and tribulations you might have endured. It’s not to say you regret what you have chosen, just that in the present’s harsh reality, that other life looks mighty tempting.
When I was given the chance, I gave up everything to move to Seattle. I was living in Connecticut, I was in school (with only a year and a half until I was done), I had two jobs I LOVED and, after 2 years, I was finally starting to feel at home. Not to say it was all rainbows. I had just broken up with my first really real boyfriend, I kind of hated school and I didn’t have very many friends. However, I was riding high at work-I had just done my first children’s play with the after-school program I worked with and it was a HUGE success. I was offered a Saturday drama class and, when school started again, I was going to travel to different schools and do weekly acting workshops with the kids. Oh, and I was going to do another children’s play. It was exactly what I wanted to do, career-wise. I would have been happy doing that forever.
But then-then-I was offered Seattle on a silver platter. I had always wanted to live here and my dad said he would pay for me to move across country, help me find and pay for an apartment and support me until I got on my feet. It was an offer I couldn’t refuse.
So, it’s times like now, when I hate my job, but make too much money to leave, when my brother hasn’t spoken to me in six months with no end in sight and when I am not going home for Christmas for the third year in a row, when I begin to think what my life would have been like if I had stayed there in Connecticut.
It all seems so tempting.
I don’t spend too much time on the subject, though. Honestly, I don’t regret my decision. Despite all the hard things in my life, there are so many wonderful things: going to awesome concerts with amazing people, my patient boyfriend, my brother living near me, my kick-ass condo, more than enough income, my hilarious sister, my dad coming to visit for Christmas, my friends Heidi and Tim, my nephews (who make every breath worth taking) and a life so many would love to have.
See, there is no way I could regret that decision. Nothing could be better than this.
Very wise. I try to never look back and say “what if” … it’s one of the reasons I sometimes have so much trouble in the present coming to a decision.
After all, you can’t change the past but you can change the future. You can always leave Seattle if you want to, for parts unknown. At least that’s what I always do.
Let’s talk about this more tonight. WHEN WE ARE AT THE CONCERT (woo!!). I have much to say on this topic.