Her favorite place to sit

Did you ever wonder why I named my blog “Gray?”? When I lived with my dad, The Gray would run into a room while making a tinkling little chirp. After awhile, whenever we said “Gray?” someone would imitate that sound. I still do that now (much to my friend’s embarrassment). I am not 100% sure why I settled on that for a blog name. Probably because it always made me smile.

Today I had to put down my best friend of 15+ years. Stormi Witch Renfro is what I named her, but she ended up being known as “The Gray”. She has been with me through all the hardest parts of my life. I got her when I had just started high school, so you know that’s true. Together we moved to Connecticut, then Seattle (by way of Minnesota for her) and 4 different homes once we got there. To be honest, I am happy she won’t have to suffer through another move since she hated moving almost as much as me.

It’s funny how similar to me she is. She is the perfect example of pets looking like their owner or vice versa. We didn’t look the same, per se (I think we had similar eyes), but our personalities were a spot on match. Hard, tough exterior, but a ball of love to the right person.

I loved that cat. Loved, loved loved. I am a crazy cat lady. My world revolves around the cats. The furniture in the house is arranged to the cats. My life and when I am supposed to be home each night is based on them eating. I have not gone on trips with friends because it would be too hard on my cats. And I am fine with that. The may be “bad” and lazy, but they give me so much happiness.

I knew this day was going to come. In fact, I knew yesterday that something wasn’t right and this may be it. And it was peaceful. And I got to hold her. And she actually felt calm (vs. how she normally acts at the vet). And I know deep down I made the right choice.

I always forget that the right choice, so often, doesn’t feel very good.

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One time, during the time we were remodeling, my alarm went off, as usual, and, as usual, Gray came and snuggled right into the crook of my arm for morning love. I pet her and kissed her (and almost fell back asleep). When I finally got up and went into the bathroom, I saw that my lips were completely black.I touched them and some of the black came off on my fingertips. I started freaking out. How in the hell were my lips black? I was fucking sleeping. So, I make Michael get up to exam me.

He does and is just as perplexed as I am. He gets a wet cloth and washes it off. He asks how I am feeling. Fine. We are puzzled. Finally, I get in the shower because, what else am I going to do?

As I am getting dressed, Gray comes over and wants to play. I start to wrastle with her and soon realize the palm of my hand is black. I pick her up and Michael and I exam her. Now the black is coming from her. Once again, no idea what is going on or why. I have to get to work, so Michael agrees to bathe her.

Later that evening, I get home, still baffled by the black stuff. Landon comes over for love right away, but Gray is no where to be found. Thinking she is still mad about her morning bath, I look for her in all her warm spots. Not there. As I am wont to do, I begin to panic. I have no idea where she is. I begin to call her, begging her to come out.

Suddenly, I hear some movement. It sounds like metal clanging against itself. I look over just in time to see The Gray crawling out of the wood stove. Apparently, that was her new hangout. Since we were still remodeling, we hadn’t gotten to cleaning out the stove yet. So, all the black was soot.

Yeah. That’s how the Gray cat rolled.

Of course, mommy? Mommy made her take another bath.

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” . . . then I’m going to lose face. That’s a very serious thing in my culture.” -Phoebe on Friends

Michael is working late tonight. So, I came home, ate some taquitos and watched this week’s 90210. The show is pretty bad. Not really bad in a good way, either (ala The Hills). I have to watch these shows when Michael isn’t home because he does NOT like them. Even as background noise. That’s saying a lot about the man who has had The Gray sneeze in his face. Multiple times. Since he’s going to be gone this weekend, you can expect that’s it going to be all bad TV all the time. Adding insult to injury, since I will be alone with no human contact, you can expect that by Saturday night I will be conversing with the people on the TV. Aloud.

So, what’s the vote on posting a link on Twitter about your new posts? Is it [annoying] shameless self-promotion or helpful info? I’ve tried it out on my last few posts. Unfortunately, it hasn’t driven any new visitors my way. When I say unfortunately, I mean for all those who didn’t click on the link. Can you imagine how empty their life is without my endless whining?

Today we had an Audit at work. I was super stressed about it, which is weird because I am ALL ABOUT compliance. Seriously. I love it. Most Advisorsons hate it, but I just like the rules. Maybe I should stay in the industry and become a Compliance Officer. I could also take a chainsaw and hack off my foot. Either way. In any case, we passed so I can get some damn sleep tonight.

Michael and I stopped in the Verizon store the other day and I am now, officially, obsessed with getting a new phone. What’s that? Oh, you say, I just got a new phone a few months ago? Yeah, that’s true. Since when has a little detail like that ever stopped me? Since I can’t get an iPhone, I need something similar. Currently, I am considering the Blackberry Storm or the Samsung Omnia. When I say considering, I mean mentioning to Michael over and over again until he finally breaks. And the real reason I want one of these phones? I want to have a Twitter app so I can feed my favorite time suck. So far, I have resisted Tweet Deck, but I don’t know how much longer I can last. And I really need to keep my job if I plan to buy a new phone. Classic catch-22.

News from Gray Cat World: The Gray is officially turning into Jake. She has trouble jumping AND she now puts her head under the running water from their drink well. This is one of Jake’s most annoying habits and I am not happy to find The Gray’s head wet whenever I go to pet it. Just another example of the disaster, disease and famine Jake has brought upon our household. As I told Dawn the other night, we should have known when the man practically threw him at us in the parking lot and ran away. I was blinded by need to collect cats with Gray fur. Just call me Cruella.

After this weekend, you’ll likely find me dead covered in Gray. The Hills, playing in the background.

[not so] Random Pic:

The only Gray who is innocent and deserves love

You can see Jake’s one ball in this pic!

At the moment, my little Lou is asleep right next to me. Snoring. Has anyone ever heard a cat snore? It’s a rare little treat. You know, last night I went to sleep on the couch to escape the snoring in the room-only to have another snorer follow me to the couch.

Of course, you guys are well aware of Landon’s other fun activities. Nothing is sweeter than the yowl of Landon as he looks for the latest blanket to fuck. In fact, yesterday, Michael’s mother was over visiting and he started yowling, yet no blanket was around. For a minute, I was certain he was going to hump her leg. Like a dog. Oh, that Lou.

There was another little fun thing Landon did while Michael’s mom was here. Landon has thing where he just has to be with the family. The worst thing you could ever do to him is separate him from where everyone else is. We had lit some candles (as we often do) and we were all gathered around the island talking. Landon kept jumping up and walking in between us all. He came close to the flame a few times, but since we light those all the time, I thought he figured out that fire = bad. Not so much. Michael was able to move Landon just in time-but not before he singed the fur on his butt. And the whiskers on his face. Silly me. I forgot Landon has no brain.

So, now I have my little burned butt lou.

Thank God he didn’t lose the rest of his nub.

Delusional. That must be it.

So . . .all the school loan TNT of last week settled down. Thank God. I have never been so terrified if my fucking life. Thank God for Dad. Of course. . . now I just need to get my taxes done ASAP . . . .

This weekend was pretty uneventful-did laundry Saturday morning (as per usual) and Saturday afternoon we went down and finished up work on the other house Michael is selling. Glad that’s all done with. We went to Target. Which we do often. Got some basics. (Tell me how excited you are right now).

On Sunday we did nothing. It was fantastic. Well, we did nothing until 5ish and then we went to his Mom’s to drop off a saw we borrowed the week before. We hung out for a bit and I watched Harry Potter with his step-dad while his mother made him feel bad. You know-I thought it was only girl that had tumultuous relationships with their mothers. Apparently not. Afterward we went to The Old Spaghetti Factory for dinner-I am not a big fan of any sort of italian food-especially spaghetti, but Michael loves it and we were trying to make him feel better (and after 5 Ultimate lemons drops-he did). I had a yummy glass of Pinot Noir and realized I hardly ever drink wine anymore, but I really like it. I think I may go pick up a few bottles to have around. In any case-the food was, in fact, pretty good. I had the Chicken Marsala, which came with noodles and myzatharia cheese. I think the Marsala is better at Olive Garden, but those noodle were good!

Wow-all the excitement of my life.

Quote of the day:

“Dada, those are mommie’s underwear”

Random pic:

P.S. I have a new book Review up-so read it.

So . . . who knows what’s been going on? Work, people’s lives falling to pieces-same ole, same ole.

This weekend we watched the Seahawks beat the Redskins and it was SO EXCITING!! How awesome is it to live in a city with a pro team-a pro team that is one step away from the Super Bowl!! We got up early this morning is the vain hope we might get tickets to the game next Sunday. Alas, no such luck-though we tried for 2 hours. So, I guess I will have to settle for watching the game from the comfort of my own home-It’s probably better than spending 4 hours+ in the rain.

On Friday night I went with the boys to watch Brokeback Mountain. It was heartbreaking. Honestly-I didn’t even see the whole “gay” thing. It was devastating in a relationship-love way. In the dramatic star-crossed lover way. Tim said he hated it-that he doesn’t pay money to be so devastated. But in a good way. It was slow-but it worked.

I am really enjoying these 3 day weekends/4 day work weeks. It’s going to suck to have to work 5 days a week. Ick. However, my next 3 day weekend will be a lot of fun because . . .

DAWN IS COMING TO VISIT! ! !

Woo Hoo to that! It was her birthday present from her mom . . . which is weird, cause I feel more like it’s a present to me-but whatever. The other part of that is, we will be having a Day of Beauty at Gene Juarez . This will include a facial-with a neck and face massage, a manicure and pedicure, our hair colored (hopefully blonde-finally!), a couture cut, and a professional make-up application. Oh, and a special catered lunch. We are going to be HOTT. Way Hot. Afterward we will have to go out and rustle us up some guys. Doug who?

I am not sure what else we will have on the agenda. I think Dawn would like the EMP and we haven’t gone in any of her previous visits. We’ll play it by ear. In any case-it is going to be SO MUCH FUN!!!!!

So let’s talk about Landon. Landon has developed a rather disgusting habit. Humping. He likes to hump legs-not int he dog kind of way-in his own weirdo way. He won’t do it to me-but he will do it to a friend of mine. We may have figured out, though, that he just likes to make love to a certain blanket. Now, he is fixed-has been for 2 years now-so there is nothing coming out (well, maybe the penis inside is coming out-but no jizz or anything of the like), but he definitely-climaxes. Well, we didn’t know this until Sunday, when we decided that instead of kicking him out, we would let it play out. And he did. THEN-for your joy and pleasure, I recorded the following video for you to enjoy. This isn’t the full thing-he had been going at it for awhile. This is at the tail end of his lovemaking to the blanket.

The sad thing is-after he is, ahem, done-he looks the most intelligent he ever has in his life. That only lasted a few seconds though-then it was back to the dumbness.

Weird.

Ok, that’s all I got for now. Rejoice in fullfillment of my update.

Quote of the day:

Really? Is this really what you have been reduced to?

Random pic:

Landon: Well, I thought she signed, cause, uh, she has been home for 3 days and she didn’t even leave or anything. She even stayed up really late last night . . .

Gray: You idiot! If you didn’t get the signature it means nothing!

Landon: She isn’t leaving, she is probably just taking a shower cause she hasn’t for a long time now.

Gray: You are the dumbest cat ever.

Later, after I walk out the door, Gray walks up behind Landon and strong paws his head against the door.

Gray: Told you. Fucking idiot.

Landon: Hey! Gray! Does that mean you wanna play . . . . .?

Quote of the day:

“Um . . .rough weekend?”

I am exhausted. My apartment is a disaster. There is no TV to watch.

What I do know is-FUCK NEW YEAR’S EVE. I will NOT go out. I will go to bed. And sleep. And turn off the phones. And sleep. And sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep. FOR EVER. Did I mention I will sleep?

I don’t want to be at work today. The lines and the dark circles under my eyes are disgusting. The constant snot drip is driving me nuts. Let’s see, what else can I complain about?

How about the fact that I am in a bad mood?

Quote of the day:

“Who are you out lunch whoring with today?”

Last night, a friend of mine came over. I went out to let them into the building-and Lo and behold-a new microwave. A hella nice new microwave (observe) . Wow. I’m tellin’ ya. It’s love Jeni week. So many people doing nice things for me.

All I know-is those damn grays better mind their business. They have been “acting out” lately. I know they just want to belong (thank you parenting class), but Jesus Christ. I am tired of coming home to broken plates, broken cabinets, sugar cubes all over, boogers on the wall. . .it’s out of control. Badness exists. It exists in my home. Mammy is an angel compared to the grays. Ok, ok, Matthew, I know. The baby is in trouble. So maybe badness exists in Santa Fe, too. Must there be any badness at all?

Quote of the day:

Reporter to P Diddy:
“Did you vote?”
P Diddy:
“Well, I didn’t want to die”