Of course, I’d be remiss is I didn’t warn you there is some controversy at the end. Hopefully you’ll be understanding of the decisions I made and the integrity of the post will stay strong.

Without further ado, the movies that came out in 2010 that I saw:

Tim Burton’s Alice In Wonderland: I kind of hated this at first. Which, I think had to do with seeing it in 3D. I don’t like 3D. Whatever movie studios are trying to do with 3D, they should just stop. In any case, when I saw this again, I liked it. Liked, not loved. I am just partial to the Tim Burton/Johnny Depp combo.
Catfish: Um. . .LOVED this movie. And not necessarily for the movie itself, but for the deep, meaningful conversation it sparked. As someone that totally loves all social media and has met many people online, it’s such an interesting reminder to be careful who you are talking to.
Cyrus: So . . . this movie totally reviewed well. Everyone seemed to think it was super awesome. I thought it was “meh”
Despicable Me: Confession: I loved this movie more than Toy Story 3. We saw it the same day and I immediately like this movie better. I think it’s partly because I like villains.
Dinner For Schmucks: So. I liked this movie. But I might have liked it because I have a Paul Rudd shaped heart. I do remember laughing heartily, so that’s a win in my book.
The Greatest: My brother Edward and I love Carey Mulligan. I don’t think this movie was horrible, but I wouldn’t buy it either. I really love the kid who looks exactly like a grown-up Bastian from Neverending Story.
Greenberg: This movie was just OK. I felt like Ben Stiller was trying too hard. There is nothing I dislike more than that
Grown Ups: Um, no. Look, I LOVE Adam Sandler. I am one of 4 people who loved Funny People. However, this movie didn’t have Seth Rogen or Judd Apatow to keep it afloat.  
Harry Potter 7: Part 1: Dude. It’s Harry Potter. While I would have much preferred the movie studios to give me the option of paying twice the price and spending 5 hours in the theater, I really can’t complain about the 2 parts. I appreciate the level of detail it gives that is usually lost.
How Do You Know: Heidi dragged me to this movie and even SHE hated it. Apparently my love for Paul Rudd does have limitations and they are this movie.
Inception: LOVED this movie. Christopher Nolan can do no wrong in my book. PLUS, you can never go wrong with Joseph Gorden-Levitt, amiright?
The Kids Are All Right: It’s a well known fact amongst my people that they only time I cry or show emotion is when I am touched by the rainbow. For some reason, gay story lines with happy endings always gives me the weeps. My cold, black heart just melts. This movie was super fantastic.
Sex And The City 2: Honestly, I am embarrassed to even tell you I saw this. In the theater. After the disaster that was the first movie, I should have known better. Michael Patrick King, I will never forgive you.
Shutter Island: This falls under my “meh” category. Didn’t hate it, didn’t love it.
The Town: Also “meh”. I really enjoyed Rebecca Hall, though. I think she’s fabulous.
Toy Story 3: So, don’t think me inhuman, but I didn’t LOVE this movie and I certainly didn’t cry at it. I mean, if we’re being honest, when I thought they were all going to be incinerated, I was totally fine with it. I thought that was a perfectly realistic ending. Does that make me heartless? Maybe. Of course. . . if it turned out Woody and Buzz were gay and getting married, I would have cried buckets.
Valentine’s Day: Not only did Heidi force me to watch this, so did my step-mom. It doesn’t get better.

Movies that came out in 2010 that I wanted to see, but did not get a chance to see:

127 Hours
Black Swan
Blue Valentine
Date Night
Due Date
Easy A
Get Him To The Greek
Howl
I Love You Phillip Morris
Kick Ass
The King’s Speech
Love And Other Drugs
Never Let Me Go
Scott Pilgrim
The Social Network
Wall Street 2
Youth In Revolt

You might be saying to yourself right now “Jeni, why are Black Swan and Blue Valentine crossed out? WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?!”

Well, if you follow my tweets (and why wouldn’t you? They are delightful little snacks), you would have seen this one this past weekend. Now you might be saying “So you DID see Blue Valentine! I am so. . . .confused”

Here’s the deal: I feel it’s only fair to include movies that came out in 2010 and I actually saw in the year 2010. Both Blue Valentine and Black Swan were seen in 2011. And while both movies weren’t in wide release until 2011, technically they came out in 2010. I am nothing if I am not hung up on the details.

Sure, some movies will slip through the cracks. There will be some films you’ll never know what I thought one way or the other. But hopefully, by reading my year end reviews, you will have gained enough strength and knowledge to make a choice on your own.

I believe in you.

Walking in the streets of sunny San Francisco without a single care
I’d like to fly there in a jet
But if I have to walk I’ll get there yet -Sanford Clark

We leave for San Francisco tomorrow morning! We got a great deal on plane tickets, a super cute hotel, a cool rental car and, oh yeah, TICKETS TO KYLIE MINOGUE’S FIRT EVER US TOUR-OPENING NIGHT!

I LOVE San Francisco. I’ve been dying to go back since Mam and I tore up the town. We’re going to have an awesome time.

Look for pics and, as Tim puts it, awkward flip videos when we get back!

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I’ve been all stressed out because I feel like I need to write a blog post, but since I haven’t done one fucking thing since I got home from New Mexico, I have nothing to blog about. Therefore, if this post is rambling and stupid, don’t say you weren’t warned.

Ding, Dong bitches! I’ve gotten used to coming home from vacation to be greeted by horrible works news. Imagine my surprise when I came home from this vacation to find out that the co-worker I hate it OUT?! That’s right, I was THRILLED. Since we were alone in the office the week prior to my vacation, certain issues came up and I had planned to talk to my boss about him when I got back. I was happy to find out that I didn’t need to say a word and he was moving on. Yahoo! Now let’s what else I can find to complain about!

I was thinking of writing a paragraph here about Prop 8, but I am pretty tired. Not sure what else I can that I haven’t already said. Hey, Rob Thomas? Why don’t YOU share your thoughts with the class? Thanks!

Yesterday, I posted to my TwitPic that I looked like my Wee-Mee. I thought I’d share a side-by-side comparison, so you can all see how cool I am.

Anyhoodle.

I have been out of control with my plastic popsicles lately. I love them all except blue. Blue is just wrong. I was all out when I got home today (except for that damn blue) and I almost had a nervous breakdown. It’s all apart of my oral fixation issues. From chewing my nails/finger, biting my pens or constantly eating mints, I always have to have something in my mouth.

I am in super lazy mode. So much to-do (i.e. Vacation Video, website, deciding my future) and yet, I’d rather DO NOTHING. Nothing. Also? Nothing. If any of you people have any idea what I should do with the rest of my life. Please leave in the comments. No idea too inane. Thanks.

OK. Well, I’m going to put you out of your misery. And go eat a popsicle. Peace.

On the other hand, I do have a lot of thoughts in my head, so if incoherent babbling is your thing, by all means, read on.

So, the big news of the weekend was that Ed came out. Joe put it best when he said “Well, you didn’t ruin your relationship with Ed, but you didn’t exactly handle it well”. My mom basically acted like it was nothing-and not in the good way. She did redeem herself later by actually talking to Ed about it. Joe and I told our dad, as well. His reaction was exactly what was expected: “We love Ed, we would never treat him any different, but we will always pray that he realizes he isn’t really gay”. I love that people think you can pray away the Gay. All in all, I think Ed feels really good about it and that is all I could ever want.

This sums out how I feel about the graduations:

Not that they weren’t nice or anything, but between Nick’s 3 minute presentation on every damn graduate and Ed’s Archbishop saying that Atheism has been around since the Devil and that John Lennon and Nietzsche are BAD, I am done with graduations.

We took quite a few pictures (which I will upload, as soon as I am done photoshopping myself pretty), but Michael did not bring my BACK-UP battery that I, as a Gonzales, specifically packed, so there are virtually no pictures of Ed’s graduation or Sadie’s Lunch. The whole fucking point. To say I was pissed would be putting it mildly.

I also recorded a TON of Flip footage. I am going to attempt to make a “movie” out of it. Of course, I would like to mention that SOMEONE closed his laptop while the Flip was charging, thus rendering it dead during Ed’s graduation. You may have noticed a pattern. You may also be wondering if Michael’s even alive. No comment.

I got to spend some great quality time with the kids. They break my heart in the most delicious way. Sunday, everyone came over to my sister’s house and we just had a blast. That’s the kind of thing I miss. I spent a good deal of time recruiting people to move here to Seattle. I got a few “yes”, a few “maybe” and no “no”!

On Saturday, we were all at my Grandma’s house for Nick’s graduation party. My great grandparents were there who are, like, 90 (honestly I don’t know how old they actually are. I barely know my own age, ok?). I hugged them both and brought Michael over. I was fairly certain they had met before, but at the age of 90, I doubted they’d remember. As I introduced Michael, my grandpa said

“I know who he is, I’ve met him before”.

Honestly, I was kind of floored. My grandparents have spawned more people than I can count. Half the people at this party I didn’t even know, aside from the fact that we are all somehow related. Yet, my grandparents know every single person in that family. Without thought or hesitation. It is astonishing. I have to wonder if it’s easier to keep track of people that are, literally, only alive because of you. Is that is some sort of brain function that comes built-in? It’s a pretty big deal. I felt a little sad knowing that they created all these families, all these joys, all this happiness and I would never know what it felt like to create something like that. In a surprising contrast, it didn’t make me want to have kids, so I think that not having them is the right choice. If that didn’t make my uterus clench, what possibly could?

All in all, the trip was a raging success. It’s really moved a personal issue of mine to the forefront, though. So personal I am SO not ready to blog about it. I know. You are shocked. Me too. Don’t worry. I’ll eventually spill the beans.

I am bringing my Flip to document everything we do. I am going to turn it into a little mini-movie/video blog. I am so excited to start editing, adding transistions, voiceovers, etc. You should expect  . . . not much. I wouldn’t want to disappoint you.

Random pic (aka, photoshop is my new bestie):

So, why (you might ask) would I want to go back?

Kylie Minogue! She is FINALLY touring the US (although she couldn’t possible come to Seattle, could she?). Tim tried to go see her a few years ago in Australia, but that was when she got sick and the tour was canceled. So, I have to say, I am SO excited he finally gets to see her. The Oakland performance is first stop on her tour, so hopefully, it will EXTRA fun! Plus, I am excited to hang out on San Francisco again-I really loved it when we went last time, so it will be fun to do some more exploring.

Of course, in the grand tradition of all concerts, it’s not until September. Who knows why you have to be tortured for 4 months, waiting and waiting?

At least it’s something to look forward to!

And not just for me personally. Look at our country. The economy sucks, the stock market is barely hanging on and civil rights are being taken away. Last weekend, Tim and I went to go see Milk. It was just horrifying to see that 30 years later-not much has changed. People still want to take away the rights of gay people. Because, again, it REALLY affects them.

2008 has been a rough year for me. And that is an understatement. Let’s see . . .My uncle was involved in a horrifying drunk driving incident, Brad Renfro died, my brother’s whore ex called off their wedding and screwed him out of a bunch of money (although, that WAS a blessing in disguise), I failed my series 66 twice, had my wisdom teeth out, Sex and the City: The Movie sucked, my brother moved to UT and we didn’t talk for a month, I found out we were being kicked out of our office, my sister and I got into a HUGE fight, didn’t talk for 3 months and our big trip to NYC was ruined (and really sucked), the day after my birthday Tom told me he was probably going to go work in P1, Tom and I got into a huge fight and I left my old job 1 week early, I started a new job and the Thanksgiving I have been looking forward to for months turned into a huge, horrible drama. Did I mention the year isn’t even over yet?

And what I learned from everything that has happened this year is this:

1) I am not as mature as I think I am. Sure, I am leaps and bounds ahead of most people my age. 99% of the time I can pass for a 40 year old (which, doesn’t bode well for my looks). But on some things-I really need to emotionally grow up. Mostly-I don’t know how to fight. Which seems like a silly thing to say, but I don’t. I let things bother me and don’t speak up. I don’t know how to communicate. I am then passive-aggressive and THEN? Then I am just fucking mean. I’ve always been good at being mean. Mean and stubborn. And what it boils down to is I have a HUGE fear of abandonment/rejection so I would rather do the ousting than vice versa. I am not quite sure how to fix this. Fix me.

2) I HATE change. I really hate change. Did I mention I hate change? I don’t like things to be out of my control and all these changes this year have been out of my control. I need control of everything in my life. Some may go as far to say as everyONE in my life. And maybe that’s true to some extent. My dad told me all my friends walk on eggshells around me. Which really kind of pisses me off. I mean, if they think something is wrong with me, why don’t they just ask?Am I THAT scary? And if so, I honestly think they shouldn’t be friends with me. Maybe I would learn not to be so scary and controlling. I know I want all things to be a certain way and god forbid they aren’t. But I ask you: Which is worse? Feeling uncomfortable and walking on eggshells or just getting it out there me being scary Jeni and then it’s just over. Maybe this is just another facet of my controlling ways.

While it’s all well and good to put these things out, how do I affect change in me? (Ugh. Change). Do I need to start seeing a therapist again? Is it really going to help? Because last time, all I did was lie and ignore her advice.

I really don’t know the answers. I just know that I hated 2008 and really hope 2009 can be something. . . .better. Less outside change and maybe more inside change.

Something has to give. I can’t do another 2008. I don’t think my friends and family can either.

I have spent the last 24 hours wondering why I am just not as excited as I should be.

Don’t get me wrong. I am thrilled Barack Obama won this election. I have never cared so much about an election in my life-and I am not alone. I watched Michael go from lifelong Republican (who in all honesty never has paid one bit of attention to candidates and what they stand for) to a man who is fired up about Barack. Together we Caucused, donated money, fought for (and won) our sign, watched every minute of Primary, National Convention and debate coverage and spent countless hours talking about this election. Last night’s outcome is been so entrenched in my daily life that I am just not sure how I am going to spend all my free time. But I am glad it’s finally over. We can move on to fixing things, to quote President-Elect Obama “The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even in one term. But, America, I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there. I promise you, we as a people will get there.”

So why am I not excited? Arizona, Arkansas, California and Florida. We, as a country, took 1 step forward and 2 steps back.

I am just heartbroken. Most of the readers of this blog know me. Meaning, we hang out or talk on the phone often. And one of the joys of having a my blog private, I can say this next thing and not worry (especially since most of you know this). My youngest brother, Edward, is gay. Not that that is my only gay “connection”. I have had gay friends since middle school. In fact, most of the time, the majority of my friends are gay. We joke about the fact that I am with Michael because he is the gayest straight man I have ever met. And it is an OUTRAGE, that Americans think they have the right to legislate the morality of their neighbors.

I just don’t understand why people care so much. It’s fine for people to believe whatever they want to believe. It’s great for people to teach their children their beliefs. It’s perfectly OK for people to share those beliefs with friends and family. But why do people feel like they have to decide how people they don’t know live their lives? If you believe I am going to Hell for marrying a woman, WHY DO YOU CARE? It does not impede on your chance to lead a moral (according to your standards) life, so WHY DO YOU CARE? My brother adopting a child with his boyfriend of 15 years doesn’t hurt your child, so WHY DO YOU CARE? WHY DO YOU CARE? I can’t make sense of this. People need to worry about themselves and let me worry about me.

So, no. I can not feel excited. I am not elated, as I expected to be. My feelings are tempered because there are people in this world who have less rights than me, just because I happen to be straight.

Of course, I can’t do anything without some sort of disaster first. As we were leaving Heidi’s apartment, I slipped in car oil. It got ALL over my jeans (and I will die if it doesn’t come out of them, cause they are my favorite pair) and all over/ruined my new NYC shoes. So. Of course, we had to go home so I could change and begin soaking my pants. Did I mention I skinned my knee and it hurt to walk?

After we got that situation taken care of, we headed over to the big city: Seattle. Sadly, I rarely go over to Seattle. It’s not like it’s technically far, it’s just that anything not within a 1 mile radius of my house is a REALLY long way to go and probably not worth it. In any case, I do actually love going to Seattle. Every time I go, I just love everything the city has to offer (probably why I moved here).

We headed down to the piers and just walked around and shopped in the little tourist shops. We found some Jesus mints for Tim, so that was exciting. We decided to have lunch at the Red Robin, because we are adventurous like that. I know our waiter thought we were total tourists since we ordered beers and kept talking about how beautiful it was and My! What big boats and pretty water. Also? We MAY have asked him to take our picture. Luckily, he didn’t ask where we were from, because having to reply “Bellevue” would have been REALLY embarrassing. We completed the tourist circle by me driving Heidi past the infamous pier where Stephen slapped Irene and threw her stuffed animal in the water. Heidi had never seen it and who am I to deny her?

Next we headed downtown to do a little shopping. First, though, I had to find a bathroom. For the 4th time in the last 30 minutes. This shouldn’t be surprising if you know me and my small bladder (multiplied by beers). The bathroom was FAR AWAY. By the time we got there, I had to go again. Whilst we were looking at purses (I got this for the NYC trip-thank you JSB gift card), my grandmother called to say they had just got into town. We made plans to meet up later and Heidi and I got back to business. We went to Hot Topic (and believe me, we were very embarrassed and much too old to be there) so I could get some bumper stickers. I got three, but I am worried I have no spot for them. I already had to take off a sticker to make the “Republicans for Voldemort” sticker fit.

We left the shopping behind and headed over to the U-District to have our Tarot cards read. Heidi and I have been trying to find a good astrologer for awhile, but mostly we have just found a bunch of crazies. I mean, if you can’t give readings when it rains and you live in Seattle, you should just say you don’t work and stop wasting my time. So, we found this guy and headed over to his place. He couldn’t see us for 45 minutes, so we walked around and visited some stores. We were super excited because we found a shop that sells “Hot Tubbing” stuff and we got a new “Hot Tub” with some cool “Features”. We also went to the Starbucks there. That Starbucks is the fifth of the first 5 Starbucks and I have now been to 1, 2 and 5. 3 and 4 don’t exist anymore. We are so super cool.

We headed back for our appointment. Heidi went first, then me. If you live in Seattle or are planning a visit here, you should DEFINITELY go see this guy. He is SO good. His name is Rene Aceves and he blew us away. As I listened to Heidi’s reading, I was just awed at how accurate everything he said was. When it was my turn, I wanted to know what to do with all my work drama. During my reading, I was so shocked by the accuracy of my recent past and present that I had tears in my eyes. He really made us both feel a lot of relief about these issues we have been fretting over. I have a lot to think about still, but he really made me see things clearly. It was great.

We headed back to the Eastside and I dropped Heidi off at her house so I could see the fam for a bit. Everyone came over to my house and hung out for a bit. I know I say this a lot, but I just really love being around my family. It was great to see my Uncle, Aunt and cousins I hardly ever see. We played a little bit of the Wii and just talked. Michael, the master salesmen, talked to my grandpa about who knows what and is sending him more info on it next week. I told my Dad that this morning and he said ‘What?! I have been trying to get him to talk to a Financial Advisor for a year!”.

They only stayed for a bit and then Heidi came over with chicken nuggets and we watched Because I Said So and “Hot Tubbed”. The movie, of course, is a Mandy Moore masterpiece and we enjoyed ourselves thoroughly.

All in all? An awesome day! I am back at work today, but it’s not so bad knowing that the weekend is right around the corner. I plan to spend some time with the fam, so it will be more touristy fun!

Quote of the day:

“Why is Jeni’s creepy older gay sending my inncoent heterosexual son cds?”

Random pic: